Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Rob English Crash

Inattentive as I am to the doings of the ladies and gentlemen who inhabit the outpost of the Diaspora which lies a bit south of Vancouver, I was wholly unaware until this morning that Mr. English has had a mishap. 

Mr. English is not, as we all know, averse to mishaps but this one appears to be slightly less wise than his previous mishaps.

In the first instance he arranged for it to take place in our Colony of West America, and everyone knows that when an ambulance carts you into an American hospital the doctors all gather round gleefully rubbing their hands and feeling up your wallet. Well the doctors don't but the administrators do, and they'll only let their doctors take a peek if the wallet is sufficiently full.

In the second instance, carried away by the exuberance of Racing, he rode into a part of America that was already occupied. By a tree.

The speed was so great that the tree caught fire, of course, and all the other trees nearby did too, and you can see what that looks like here.

First reports omit the int'resting gory stuff, but some googling reveals that the ambulance gathered up shards of arm and shoulderblade, together with ribs to create Eve in sufficient numbers that if he was a Mormon he could have his very own Tabernacle Choir. - Unf. he isn't a Mormon. - Unf. Mrs. English would probably raise objections to a dozen extra wives. -

Current reports  suggest he's out of intensive care, and Mrs. English tells me he might be home tomorrow.

Anyone who wants to contribute to the pitifully inadequate income of Oregon's doctors can do so here and then they can write to this man  and encourage him to ignore all the sillies who oppose him and create an NHS, same as all other countries who like to consider themselves civilized, so that people who have negative tree interactions don't have the added complication of dying of financial worry.

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1 Comments:

Blogger Mr Larrington said...

It should be noted that the Official LDS abandoned polygamy in 1890, though there are still a fair few unsavoury Provisionals in far-flung reaches of the Former Colony.

July 28, 2014 at 3:24 AM  

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