Monday, March 29, 2010

Rear undercarriage

Did you but have chickens you would know why they bring you to the point of writing poetry. My wife keeps chickens and I have composed the following, to be hummed liltingly to the tune of Mary Had A Little Lamb.

There certainly isn't a shortage of manure if you keep chickens,
On the path,
Beneath my left shoe where I wasn't watching;
Chickens do a-lot-of-manure,
And hardly any eggs, the little bastards.

It doesn't scan or rhyme terribly convincingly and if I were a Japanese Zen master I would edit it down to a Haiku, possibly involving the word 'plop!' like that one about the frog and the pond:



However I'm not a Zen master nor, it will be discerned, much of a poet, and to compensate the world for this grievous loss here are three photographs showing how I cobbled together the rear undercarriage of my not-Japanese wagon. It has 406 rear wheels. If I was witty I could probably cobble together a joke about Error 404 Only 2 Rear Wheels but I am assuming everyone reading this knows what a 406 wheel is and has no interest whatever in my utterly pathetic sense of yumour.

If they don't, then a 406 wheel is a BMX 20 inch and it isn't 20 inches at all and neither is a 451 which is a Raleigh 20 twenty inch. Why they call them 'twenty inch' wheels can only be explained by a Zen master. The front wheels are 349, which vaguely means 16 inches.

1. Which of course loosely translates as
A frog jumps into a pond
I can't remember the last line, or the other two come to that


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home